The truth about the truth.

Hiding behind walls is so much easier than facing challenges. We live a life so protected that we miss out on so much that is raw and real. We end up doing to ourselves exactly what we’re protecting ourselves from. We end up hurting ourselves by denying the things our hearts want. Though giving it what it wants would be naive. The question that arises is: do we let others hurt us, or should we be the ones causing ourselves heartaches? The latter is what most of us choose. The latter is what I've chosen. You, being in your own shoes, know exactly what you did and what you’re going to do, and you rationalise the consequences for it. And why can’t be rationalise the hurt someone has caused us? We’re not in their mind. We don’t know just how malicious and cunning they can be. We love  being the victim, don’t we? I will not you claim to know the truth, simply because I do not. I do not know why people go to war or how did Boo Radley know Bob Ewell was trying to kill Scout and Jem (Ref: To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee). Because someone I met quite recently said that truth is just a perception. Truth is what you believe to be true. It is reality, it is fantasy, and it is neither. You will rationalise anything that you want the truth to be. If I believe unicorns exist, then that’s my truth. That is how we live. That’s how we build our realities. But if my perception could be wrong and why should anyone else have to put up with the consequences of my erroneous observations?

It only has to seem right to me for me to believe it, and then for me to convince you of it. Nothing is permanent and truth is no exception. The truth changes as we change. Sometimes it’s bitter, other times it’s not as much bitter, but mostly it’s deciding between whether to drown or stay afloat (it doesn’t matter if you’re telling the truth or hearing the truth).

(I'm trying to make a point here.)

People will be truthful and they will also lie and manipulate. And there is no way of controlling any of it. So stop whatever you’re doing and figure out your truth.

Reality

We all need a prescription of a fairy-tale once in a while. We all need to believe that there exists something magical in our reality. That is, if reality exists without our mind to create it. But it doesn't  Reality is what we perceive of our surroundings. It is when we give meanings to things that haven’t even happened yet.

It is a blessing to have a tight grip on reality, but sometimes, you need a break from reality. You want to believe in the magical love that sweeps you off your feet and makes you fall head over heels for that special person. To be able to feel that rush, that tingly feeling in your toes and your hands, and feeling butterflies in your stomach. And your name sounds different when they say it. It sounds like the delicacy of a child, the breaking waves of an ocean.

How sad it is to listen to breakup songs before a year it might happen? How could that love not be more bitter than sweet? Or maybe it just isn't love at all. Maybe it’s just something we think we need, something that makes us feel we've let go of the past, something that replaces the thoughts we don’t want to think. Life isn't magical; love may or may not exist. If it does exist, it may never make you feel complete. And if it doesn't exist, there won’t be any questions to ask, no answers to give, no complications to solve, no confusions to  clarify, no hope and no expectations to be let down.

But how do we live without expecting the better outcome? It’s scary to not know what’s coming towards us, or what we’re going forward to is unknown, but what drives us crazy is to know that there will be no better outcome. How do you live with that? How can you not want to give up? When you think of giving up, I hope you think that you don’t really know what will the end be, or even if you’ll live to see it. This is where I tell myself to just live right now, in the present and not connect my future with my past and my past with my future, because I’m not the one to give the verdict of my own life.