How do you feel?

It's a sad thing when you don't know how to feel. You just sit there, trying to figure out what is it that you really want. What is it that you're really missing out on? Even when you're busy, it's still there in the back of your mind; the feeling, it's just...there.

The worst time is when you're up really late, and alone, and you're wishing for something to distract you from this almost-agonizing feeling. There's never nothing on T.V., all your friends are asleep and you just sit there in your bed, thinking about nothing, and everything. Just thinking. You've never tried so hard to be busy, you've never tried so hard to sleep to keep you from thinking. It's like waiting on a miracle thats just about to happen. It never does. No miracle is gonna happen and take this feeling away that's soaking your blood. You feel weak, and you actually feel a hole inside you chest, a huge empty space right there inside of you. And then comes a time that you realize you've stopped living for yourself. You're life's not yours anymore. You feel lifeless, soulless. You dream, but now it's not for yourself anymore. The only thing you do for yourself is just thinking that would there ever be when you truly feel complete; when that empty space inside is is all filled up, or just gone.  And you just don't know when that is going to happen.